you win again, gameday.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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