Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
