Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
