she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
