3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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