you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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