Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
