I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
