Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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