So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There r osticjed everywhere
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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