I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
