I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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