Sponge bath it is.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
