Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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