i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
