Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
