I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
