So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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