Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
