Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
