The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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