David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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