New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
