I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
