there's paper in my vomit.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
