Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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