he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
