I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize