One girl and one boy is just not enough.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
