yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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