if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
