The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
