And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
