Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
