we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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