She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
