went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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