he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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