OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
