Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
