**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
