i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
