Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she looked like the before picture.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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