Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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