Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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