he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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