I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's a Shit stain on my heart
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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