i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
