ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
