haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
