I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
