Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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