my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
