my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
