I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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