I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
