if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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