put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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