Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
