Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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