love makes seman taste better
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
