Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
