Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
