I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
