i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
