As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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