Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize