I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
