I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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