hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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