He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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