Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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