We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm going to jail i love you
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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