I faked an abortion last night.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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