pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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