I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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