a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
