p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I showed him my bush... on skype.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
