he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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