I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
