I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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