Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
